Friday 13 November 2009

Posting just because i am bored...

Its been a bit of a boring day today, although i did have a lovely evening yesterday with my friend; eating tasty jacket potatoes, chatting and watching a film. Was so nice to get out of these four walls for a bit and do something that is not related to my M.E.! Doing things like that makes me feel a little bit like my old self for a while.

The rain is bucketing down outside the window, and i am hoping there is something good on the telly tonight. I have just put the phone down having chatted to my boyfriend, and he too is holed up in his flat with a gale blowing outside. He is hoping to drive over tomorrow if the weather improves. We might not manage our pub lunch tomorrow though. I was feeling delicate today and had heart palpitations rather often (every time i moved, almost!) so i didnt make the hospital visit to my Grandad and i dont want to leave it any longer before going to see him - so i shall go tomorrow.

I am dying for a cuppa...but before i go and make one i want to just talk about the possible significance of my recurring dream...

Well, i have read that Reverse Therapy, which is a successful remedy for some M.E. sufferers, is based around the idea of finding a 'message' that is trying to be relayed to the patient by their unconscious mind. The patient, according to the theory has so far failed to pick up on this message and so the body goes into a state of emergency or 'fight or flight' because it is basically in a bit of a panic that this improtant message has not been received nor acted upon. This, apparently, is the basis of symptoms for M.E. in some cases. (Apologies to readers who already know all his!). Anyway, since i have got ill i have had the same dream around 20 times - i looked into the significance of recurring dreams and they too are supposedly the subconscious mind's way of relaying a message. And so, i have been trying to decode mine!

My dream is thus: I am ice skating around the old local ice rink which was demolished some years ago and replaced by a new one. The dream is great fun nd very vivid - as though i am really skating! Sometimes i skate without any difficulty, but in some dreams i have been out of control and unable to stop, in others i have felt too heavy and weak to skate (as in real life!) and sometimes i have been almost tripped over items of baggage which have been left all around the periphery of the rink. In several of these dreams there has been some kind of emergency; including a fire, someone collapsing on the rink and a small boy skating into a glass barrier, smashing it and cutting himself.

The idea of losing something seems to figure in these dreams too - either i leave my coat behind, cant find my bag or have had my wallet stolen. I dont find these items before i wake up. Anotherr recurrent theme is to do with the seating in the ice stadium - i was made to move out of my seat, because i had supposedly taken someone else's seat. It was insisted by this person that i moved, even thought there were hundreds of other spare seats. In another dream, my seat had gone rotten and the timber was coming away in my hands.

And lasly, in every dream, i have some kind of scheme going to halt the demolition of the stadium. Either i have won the lottery, or come into some money somehow, which means i am going to buy the stadium and save it. I should point out that i spent much of my childhood in the old stadium and my first childhood dream was to be a skater - unfortunately i did not have the ability, by a long shot! As an adult i have returned to skating and absolutely loved it, and thankfully, i am better at it now than i was as a child. When i got ill of course, i had to give it up. I say all these things because i wonder if anyone out there has any ideas what this dream could mean. I have a few theories of my won, but i wont put them on here just yet, as i would like to hear other's views, if you can spare a minute. Many thanks!

No comments:

Post a Comment