Thursday 4 March 2010

It's lovely outside, but i can't decide what to do...

Well its a beautiful day out there - in early March as well! But this is one of those days where i can't decide what to try to tick off on my 'to do' list. In my bedroom i keep a small plastic whiteboard, and, every week i write down a few things i want to try and achieve. This affords me two pleasures; a)being able to write on a whiteboard (yes, i have never grown up) and b) being able to tick off the items as i do them, which gives me some satisfaction. This whole goal setting thing was something i learnt from the ME group. I have found it helps: having definite goals rather than vague ones makes them easier to work towards and helps me to plan my week; so i dont feel quite so useless. I know i can never do everything each week on the lists i make, but just ticking a couple is good.

On this week's list is the intention to buy some flowers for my cousin who has just given birth to a beautiful new baby. However, we are not going to visit her until next week (when i can get a lift there from my Dad), so theres no point buying them yet. Another is to deliver a long overdue Xmas present to my friend; but she has not replied yet as to when she's free, and thirdly, i wanted to visit my Grandad's graveside, because i feel like i would like to go and send some time talking to him for a while. However i know it will be far too much for me to drive all the way there and walk across the cemetary and would make me ill for a good while afterwards; so i dont quite know why that one is on the list - wishful thinking, i guess. Added to this i have to save energy for the weekend as my boyfriend is coming to stay.

This, i suppose is the problem with the limitations caused by CFS. I can do little things, but they dont always fit in with the situation/other people's plans, so very often, on days such as this, i end up doing nothing. Then comes the guilt at not having achieved something that day. Oh to be able to do anything i please at the drop of a hat.

It has occured to me that i have some old clothes to sort out - but that seems like a waste of a nice day, as do my inane ramblings on this blog!!

I did nothing yesterday either. I was hoping to go with my Dad when he took my dog to the vets, but i didnt feel well enough. Actually we had rather a scare with her yesterday. She suddenly became very lethargic and coudln't even jump up onto the sofa. She is now on a course of antibiotics for a suspected chest infection, although the vet wasnt sure she had one. she thankfully seems a lot better today, although still not quite as bouncy as usual. I was so worried yesterday and in tears. My dog is my life, my ray of sunshine.

Anyway i had better sign off, before the day is wasted away. Back later :)

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