I received a lovely email yesterday which actually gave me the support i was looking for - everything about understanding how it must have felt, and i have to say i felt somewhat better for reading it. Im still going through a mix of emotions; on one hand i am looking at the letters M.E. as evil letters that will overshadow my life. It only takes one website to start the tears off. On the other i am thinking that i no longer feel a 'fraud' for feeling the way that i feel. And i am now admitted to a community of people who have to fight this thing, and almost feel excited about trying to beat it. And if i do, ill be very proud. I will see life from both sides now; from a healthy person who has every opportunity to do and achieve whatever they wish, and now, as someone who looks at other people and wishes they knew how lucky they are to be 'normal'. I suppose that's not something everyone experiences. I hope, at least that because of this i will no longer be one of the people on Facebook who makes me cringe for complaining that the weather isnt quite good enough for skiing or that they have had to postpone a night out. That is how i used to be. I still wish none of this had ever happened and would still like to live in blissful ignorance - but now that i can't, i may as well make use of the experience.

I am wondering what it will be like to go to the support group - will it make me feel better or worse? I'll shelve the thought until i actually have to go. Right now i am waiting for my boyfriend to turn up and we will have a night in front of the telly and everything will seem ok just for an evening. Tomorrow i am hoping to go for a drive, just to get a free coloured glass from McDonalds....it's the little things! And i hope to visit my poorly Grandfather too. He is in a worse position than me. I need to remind myself that things could be worse and be there for others as well.